Age Is Not Just A Number: Motherhood On The Wrong Side Of The 30s
Tick tock goes the biological clock.
If you're a woman in your thirties—or even approaching them—there's a good chance someone has reminded you of this ticking time bomb. Well-meaning relatives, over-involved neighbours, concerned parents, even complete strangers—they all seem to have an opinion.
Here’s Afshan Anjum’s honest and heartfelt account of navigating motherhood after 35, handling judgment, battling fears, and finally embracing the joy that followed.
What Was My Biggest Fear?
Was it career failure? Loneliness? Heartbreak?
None of those.
My biggest fear was missing out on motherhood.
And sometimes, it seems like the more your heart aches for something, the longer it takes to arrive.
I had my child in my late thirties, at a point where I truly believed I’d lived more than half my life. By then, I had heard it all—from aunties to doctors to domestic help:
-
“It’s high time you had a baby.”
-
“Are you sure you can conceive naturally?”
-
“What if it’s too late?”
The biological clock rhetoric was loud, constant, and almost suffocating.
Pandora’s Box of Fears
Once I actively began planning for pregnancy, a world of anxieties opened up:
-
Genetic concerns: People warned me about disorders like Down syndrome being common in older mothers. But according to actual medical science, these are more connected to family history than age alone.
-
Conception doubts: I was told I’d have to try much longer because my body would “respond slowly.”
-
Delivery warnings: Apparently, a natural delivery in your late 30s was “impossible.” Spoiler alert: It’s not.
The volume of unfiltered advice was overwhelming. The one thing nobody told me? That my story could still be beautiful and natural—even if it was a little delayed.
My Experience: Reality Over Rumors
Motherhood happened just when I wished for it.
I was 37—past the so-called “cut-off age”. Every visit to a clinic came with a new set of assumptions:
-
“Was this IVF?”
-
“Have you been trying for years?”
-
“Any past miscarriages?”
To all of them, my answer was a simple and honest No.
My pregnancy was natural. It was calm. It was mine.
My doctor reassured me with stories of women who’d delivered babies at 38, 40, even 44. Some of them had easier journeys than 25-year-olds. The takeaway?
There’s no one-size-fits-all in motherhood.
In fact, I could read, process, and reflect on the experience better at this age than I could have in my twenties.
Is Age Just a Number?
Yes—and no.
The Tough Bits:
-
Fatigue hits differently in your 30s
-
You question your energy to chase toddlers
-
Juggling career, home, and night feeds? Exhausting
The Silver Lining:
-
Patience is more refined
-
You’ve seen enough of life to handle surprises
-
You are mentally stronger, emotionally mature
I wasn’t as fit as I used to be—but I was wiser. And more grateful.
The Best Advice I Ever Received
A colleague once told me:
“Motherhood is not about age or muscle strength.
It’s about willpower—and the courage to start over.”
That stayed with me.
Yes, you’ll lose sleep.
Yes, you’ll cry.
Yes, your body will change.
But once you're holding your child—none of that matters anymore. Nature will shape you into the best version of yourself.
How I Look At It Today
If I had become a mother ten years earlier, perhaps my child and I would now be best friends, reading articles like this one together. But then, I wouldn’t have been this version of me.
I wouldn’t be the one telling women everywhere:
It’s okay to be a mommy at 38. Or 40. Or beyond.
Because the world needs voices from this side of the fence, too.
If motherhood is written for you, it will arrive—at the right time, and in the right way.
It’s still the most beautiful, humbling, powerful experience I’ve ever had. And I’m so grateful it waited for me.
FAQ: Motherhood After 35
Q1: Is it safe to have a baby after 35?
A: Yes. Many women in their late 30s and 40s have healthy pregnancies. Regular medical checkups and a healthy lifestyle go a long way.
Q2: Does fertility drop significantly after 35?
A: Fertility does gradually decline, but every body is different. It’s best to consult a fertility specialist instead of relying on hearsay.
Q3: Are natural births possible after 35?
A: Absolutely. While some cases require C-sections, age alone is not a barrier to natural childbirth.
Q4: Is motherhood harder when you're older?
A: Physically, yes. But emotionally and mentally, many older mothers report feeling more prepared and patient.
About the Author
Afshan Anjum
Mother of a one-year-old boy named Zizou, expert in mutton curry, and News Editor & Anchor at NDTV Sports. Afshan shares her life’s wisdom through personal essays that resonate with women navigating life, motherhood, and everything in between.
Leave a comment