Finding 'The One' – A New Mum’s Guide to Choosing the Right Gynaecologist | Real Stories + Pregnancy Tips

From that incredulous moment you see two pink lines on a pregnancy test, to the emotional joy of counting ten tiny fingers and toes, your gynaecologist is your closest companion. She (or he) is your silent strength through every scan, fear, and emotional shift.

That’s why it’s crucial to choose the right gynaecologist — someone who fits your needs, personality, and comfort. Here are Afshan Anjum's personal reflections and tips to help you find "the one."

First Encounters: When the Gynae Feels Familiar

All my life I was used to getting little scoldings from my mother, aunts, and teachers. So when a gynaecologist did the same, I oddly felt at home.

I still remember my first solo visit to a lady doctor in my twenties. I had gone for a regular consultation, but instead got a lecture — on marrying “on time,” relationships, and life choices.

Later, my diagnosis of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) led me to consult many more doctors. With each came:

• Pill-popping routines
• Lifestyle changes
  
• Diet and yoga plans
  
• And lots of gynaec discussions
  
  

But every visit left me wondering:

“Is she the one?”

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The Question Everyone Asks: Who's Your Gynae?

Once you start planning a baby (or are pregnant), you’ll be asked the all-important question:

“Who’s your gynaecologist?”

Almost everyone will vouch for theirs — because that’s who they trusted with their life-changing journey. But choosing yours should be based on more than recommendations.

What Really Matters:

• Your comfort level with the doctor
  
• How well they communicate
  
• Availability and accessibility
  
• Willingness to listen
  
• Emotional support, not judgment

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1. Your Questions Deserve a Kind Ear

I’ve never had more questions in my head than during pregnancy. Some were silly, like:

• “Will eating oranges give my baby glowing skin?”
  
• “Will ghee help the baby slip out easier?”
  
  

Everyone — from neighbours to relatives — shares "wisdom." But only your gynae can give science-backed answers. Luckily, mine did — patiently and without judgment.

Tip: Keep a diary of your questions and carry it to appointments. It helps you feel organized and heard.

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2. You Don’t Want to Be Scolded

Pregnancy makes you emotionally vulnerable. And scolding or guilt-tripping? That helps no one.

Yes, I’ve:

• Skipped medications
  
• Exercised in panic
  
• Slept all day when I was told to walk
  
  

But I never had to lie to my gynae. She listened. She supported. She never judged.

A Good Gynae Will:

• Calm you down, not scare you
  
• Empathize with your emotions
  
• Simplify medical terms to make you feel in control
  

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3. Anytime, Any Day, Anywhere

A doctor who doesn’t return calls or messages? That’s a red flag.

Late-night WhatsApp chats with my gynae made me feel safe. In my final week, she checked in on me daily. That connection matters more than you realize.

Choose someone who:

• Replies promptly
  
• Makes you feel supported
  
• Is genuinely available when it matters most
  

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4. The Doctor is Not Your Mother

Your gynaecologist can guide and support you — but she isn’t your mother or therapist. You cannot expect them to fix everything.

When I finally delivered and thanked my doctor, saying,

“Only you could’ve made this happen,”
She smiled and said,
“No, it was you who did this.”

That stayed with me.

Remember:

• You are the main character in this journey
  
• Your doctor is the supporting cast, not the saviour
  
• Trust them, but own your strength
  

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Q1. How early should I choose a gynaecologist?

A: Ideally, as soon as you’re planning a pregnancy or notice irregular cycles. Building early trust helps during pregnancy.

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Q2. What should I ask during my first visit?

A: Discuss:

• Their availability for emergencies
  
• Experience with pregnancies like yours
  
• Philosophy on birth plans and intervention
  
• Comfort with your questions
  

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Q3. Can I change my gynaecologist mid-pregnancy?

A: Absolutely. If you’re not feeling supported, it’s never too late to find someone who’s a better fit.

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Q4. How do I know if the doctor is right for me?

A: You should feel heard, understood, not judged, and reassured after every visit. That’s your green flag.

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Final Thoughts

Choosing a gynaecologist isn’t just about qualifications — it’s about connection, comfort, and care.
They will:

• Listen to your doubts
  
• Calm your fears
• Celebrate your strength
  
  

But remember — you’re doing the hard work. You’re the real hero of your story.
 So choose wisely. Trust your gut. And cherish the journey.

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About the Author

Afshan Anjum is the proud mother of a baby boy named Zizou, makes a mean mutton curry, and works as the News Editor & Anchor at NDTV Sports. She writes with warmth, wit, and wisdom — especially when it comes to real-life motherhood.