The School of Parenthood

New mom? Discover heartfelt lessons from Afshan Anjum’s early days of parenting—dealing with unsolicited advice, balancing modern science with traditions, and finding your own voice in the chaos.

Welcome to the School You Never Graduate From

No matter how old your child is, there’s always someone in the next parenting phase ahead of you—navigating exams, teenage tantrums, or college applications, while you’re still trying to burp a baby.

When I entered this sacred, chaotic world of motherhood, it felt like stepping into a school—one where I was the junior-most student, wide-eyed and clueless, surrounded by know-it-all seniors, some helpful, some… well, not so much.

The Advice Brigade Begins

Parenting comes with free lifetime access to unsolicited advice—especially in India. I decided early on to be a keen observer and listener, filtering out the useful from the absurd, and applying what made sense with a generous helping of common sense.

The Auntyji Academy

Ah, the glorious Auntyji wisdom. A woman at the hospital told me firmly:
"Beta, cover your head with a dupatta 24x7 or you’ll get backaches for life."

It was May. The heat was unbearable. The logic? Missing.
After some digging (and sweat), I realized postpartum backaches are about depleted calcium and weak muscles, not the absence of a dupatta. Helpful in winter for infections maybe—but hardly a miracle cure.

My Working Mom Colleagues: Real-Life Role Models

By the time I was battling sleepless nights, my favorite colleagues were dealing with exam stress and teenage drama. But that was the beauty of it—these conversations gave me a glimpse into the future.

Their advice went beyond diapers. It included things like how to not lose yourself, how to juggle roles, and even what they wished they'd done differently. A treasure trove of hindsight.

Our Parents: The First (and Fiercest) Teachers

There’s no denying the wealth of wisdom our mothers and grandmothers bring.

But sometimes, science politely disagrees.
Like honey: Daadi says it cures everything. Baby books say don’t even think about it until the baby turns one.
Or hing (asafoetida) paste on a bloated tummy—worked like magic!

I learned to strike a balance—respect tradition, but lean on updated research when it mattered.

The Best Batchmates: ‘Just Been There’ Moms

My go-to gurus? Friends with kids just a year or two older than mine.
They had survived the colic nights, feeding battles, and weaning chaos—and were full of real-time solutions that actually worked in today’s world.

They told me what to buy, what to ignore, and when to just let go. These were the sisterhood bonds I didn’t know I needed.

Final Exam: Trusting Yourself

Over time, I realized something big:
Even with the best advice, your child will teach you more than any book or aunt ever could.

Your gut instinct matters. But so does research, community wisdom, and patience. You don’t need to blindly follow every voice around you—but listening with care, and then making your own informed choice, is a superpower.

About the Author

Afshan Anjum is a new mom to one-year-old Zizou (and makes excellent mutton curry). She’s also a News Editor and Anchor at NDTV Sports. Parenthood might be messy and chaotic, but she's learning to embrace the school she never applied to—with open arms and an open mind.